Woe unto the generation whose leader thou art: For you have no knowledge of the suffering of the wise; how they support and feed themselves (Brachos 28a).
It is the envy of childhood that, to it, all things seem clear and simple. In the wonderland of the young, there are few complexities and all things are seen in terms of black and white. It is only as one matures and tastes of the fruits of experience, when one leaves the compartment of theory and enters the world of reality, that the wonderfully straight and clear path reveals itself to be a twisting, winding, and difficult road to travel. Would that this were not so – but alas, it is. Would that the wonderfully simple ideals of our youth could ever be unsullied, and that the flame of right and just never dim, but alas, it does. It is the mark of the leader and guide that he recognize this sad fact; it is the hallmark of the man of wisdom that he attempt to counsel and teach in the light of this reality.
Distressing Cases
Within the past few weeks in the pages of the Jewish Press, there appeared two examples of the above. The first concerned a letter written by a ben Torah (observant Jew) in which he sought advice concerning the problem of wearing a yarmulka (skullcap) at the office where he is employed. From the very moving words of the letter it is obvious that the writer is a sincere man and genuinely troubled by his conscience.
To begin with, it is my deep conviction that this paper was most emphatically not the place for such a question. A problem of this type is one that should be taken to a competent rabbi, and there, with the opportunity to ascertain all the circumstances, a speedy and halachically correct answer could have been given. Nevertheless, the fact is that it was sent to the Press, and a most distressing reply appeared in the form of a letter from one reader who stated as follows:
“There is no reason why M—– should not wear a yarmulka at his job. If he is so ashamed of his Jewish Heritage he is not worthy to be called a Jew and wear our symbol. It would be better to quit the job than uncover his head … (the Law) states specifically that a man is not to walk four amos (cubits) with an uncovered head.”
No Knowledge
Upon reading this reply, I became and still am greatly disturbed. First, how does it come about that one who is not a rabbi (the writer is a female) presumes to decide a halacha l’maaseh (an applied law)? Secondly, how does one offer an opinion without knowing who the person is, what all the facts are, and what circumstances are involved? Thirdly, how does one state a ruling on the basis of a line in the Shulchan Aruch without the slightest mention (or knowledge) of the many commentators who explain, modify, and clarify the problem? (Space does not permit, but I refer the writer of the reply to the Darkei Moshe, Orach Chayim 2:2; 8:4; the Sheilos U’Tshuvos Maharshal 72; the Magen Avraham 91:3; Biur HaGra 8:6 as to whether there is even a prohibition involved at all. Furthermore, even according to those who say there is, there are many questions as to whether this is walking or even sitting, whether only under the open sky or even in a building, etc.)
Worst of all, however, is the totally unwarranted assumption that the questioner is ashamed of being a Jew, is somehow unworthy of being a Jew, AND THE SUMMARY JUDGMENT TO LEAVE HIS EMPLOYMENT IF IT MEANS UNCOVERING THE HEAD.
Shaken, I find it hard to find the slightest justification for the writer of this answer, except for the fact that she is perhaps young and unlearned. There is no other justification for advice to leave one’s employment in such a case. Surely, she has no concept of what it means to have to support a family, of how difficult is the bread earned with the bitter sweat of one’s brow. It is with infinite ease that those who are thankfully not called upon to face the harsh and bitter realities of life can so glibly and easily give flaming and “mesiras nefesh” advice. It was a reply composed of ignorance of the Halacha and immaturity of the soul.
Sfirah Shaving
In a somewhat similar way this problem arises in the case of those sincerely pious Jews and especially rabbis who shave during the Sfirah and Chol HaMoed. Once again, there are those who unfortunately do not watch their words and, forgetting both head (Halacha) and heart, hastily condemn those who shave during this period of the year. Once again, besides overlooking many Piskei Din (rulings) which do permit shaving in times of necessity (which rulings incidentally do not constitute “legal handstands” as some state, since they come from noted authorities), there is a terrible lack of compassion and understanding of the problems involved. Knowing once again of the tremendous difficulties – if not impossibilities – in this unbearded culture, of holding a position or employment with an unkempt and disfiguring appearance, I find it not at all amusing that there are those among us who deem it “ridiculous extremes” to attempt to find a PROPER AND THOROUGHLY HALACHIC HETER for shaving because it “interferes with eating.” Those who sarcastically comment that only “yeshiva bachurim” and “scattered fanatics” adhere to the prohibition might do well to dwell upon the fact that it is precisely these alone who are secure in the Beis Midrash from the problems and hostilities of an alien world where others – those who do shave – are forced to live daily.
Easy to Criticize
Nor can I see any good at all coming from the attack upon those “Remington Rabbis” who shave during Sfirah. It is easy for one who is a Yeshiva teacher or who holds a position in an old, old Orthodox Shul, free from the very real problems of members who look with hostility upon beards, or members who seek any opportunity to attack their Orthodox rabbi, to be more “pious than the Pope.” It is far, far more difficult for those rabbis who attempt to preserve Yiddishkeit far from the safety of Williamsburg, and who have enough problems without the immature, self-righteous attacks of fellow Orthodox Jews.
In order to criticize it is incumbent upon one to possess three things: Torah knowledge, compassion for fellow human beings, and the experience of the bitter realities of the outside world. Praise be the one who can – FOR HIMSELF – conquer all the problems and obstacles of the alien world. Happy is he who – FOR HIMSELF – desires to be a chasid (pious) and go “lifnim mishuras hadin” (beyond the obligations of the law). Let him not, however, demand this of others. It is difficult enough as it is to be an observant Jew in a world which is the antithesis of all that we stand for. Torah knowledge, compassion for human beings, and experience – acquire these and then – ONLY THEN – can we take upon ourselves the heavy mantle of leadership, guidance, and criticism.
11 Sivan 5721 – May 26, 1961